GenePool Humor

I wanted to take this moment to thank you for the use of your Cape Cod home for the first three days of our vacation. We left the house exactly as you requested, except for the following:

1: You will note that there is now a copious quantity of sand strewn generously throughout the house. This is because our children-- your grandchildren, which I would like to remind you, you love very much-- are incapable of visiting a beach without taking a large part of it back with them. We swept it up as well as we could and deposited it in the garage. You may wish to consider returning it to Craigville beach, as I believe its absence is hurting tourism.

2: One of the quilts from the beds the children sleep in is currently sitting in the oversized sink in the basement. It is quite wet. I recommend leaving it there until it is dry. One of your grandchildren elected to skip a trip to the bathroom on Monday night, choosing instead to pee in the bed. (The grandchild in question shall remain nameless.) Since the quilt does not fit into the basement washer I scrubbed it using the appropriate detergent. The water, I'm afraid, subsequently coursed over the side of the sink and onto the floor. I recommend not going into the basement until it is dry.

3: If you are looking for the towels, they are in the basement. We maintained the laundry for our entire stay at the Cape, and I am happy to say that all of our clothing is now very clean. Unfortunately, we did not calculate the incredible amount of time it takes to dry towels in the basement dryer. In fact, only one load ended up completely dry. The damp towels are lying in hampers on the floor of the basement, and have nothing whatsoever to do with the wet floor near the sink.

4: There are two things of note regarding the kitchen. First, there is a half-container of waffle/pancake mix which we purchased at William Sonoma. Use it wisely, as I believe it is made from hand-ground Indonesian flour and prepared by Nobel Prize laureates. I am basing this supposition on the price. However, it is very good. The second thing to note is that there is no other food left in the kitchen. After purchasing the mix, we realized we were almost out of the money we had allotted for our trip to the Cape, and were subsequently forced to get rather creative. We thank you for leaving so much food, and especially for the crackers and pickle relish, which, in combination, went over very well with the whole family.

As you requested, we remembered to close all of the windows before leaving, and we also succeeded in not causing any permanent damage to the pool table.

Your son,

Gene

© 2001, Gene Doucette