GenePool Humor

To the Manager of the Cape Cod Mall

Dear Sir:

I would like to draw your attention to an alarming event that took place in your fine shopping establishment this past week.

On Tuesday, August 27, I brought my wife and two children to the Cape Cod mall for a leisurely afternoon of looking at things we can't afford. As my daughter and son cannot remain within ten feet of one another without kicking and punching, my wife and I chose to split up, in a standard mall-wallking male-male/female-female pairing.

When we met up again an hour or so later I was shocked to discover that some maniac had poked holes in my daughter. I questioned my wife, who claimed to have no idea what had happened, and that the holes had 'just appeared' when she wasn't looking. Based on my wife's lackadaisical reaction-- along with her bizarre suggestion that the holes would be a good place to stick jewelry, of all things-- I can only conclude that she had been drugged, which is probably how the assailant managed to impale my daughter without interruption.

I know you don't have time to monitor every activity that takes place in your mall, but I feel it is imperative that you look into this matter immediately. A madman is loose, drugging women and poking holes in young children, and this cannot be allowed to continue.

I await your response.

Sincerely,

Gene Doucette

© 2001, Gene Doucette