Posted Friday, February 06, 2004 by Gene

Quote of the day
Jon Stewart, after playing a clip in which a news commentator described Janet Jackson and Boobgate (a label I might have just now invented) as "the most controversial thing EVER":

"Are you kidding? She's not even the most controversial person in her own FAMILY."

As regards Boobgate
That might have been me you heard screaming yesterday. Shortly after blogging about how we all just need to stop with this story already, I opened up my Boston Globe and found an article entitled "Kids may need to talk about a revealing halftime show."

Oh my freakin' god. Let's set one thing straight right away. My kids have seen nipples. How? They watch TV, we have cable, you can fill in your own details from there. And I guarantee they had seen more than a second-and-a-half of nipple before Sunday night. Nipple does not traumatize them. In fact, I asked. I said "Tim, do you find nipples traumatic?" He said. "Eeew" and then he punched me in the arm. Now, you might think that this is an indication of trauma, except that's also what he does to me when I offer him dinner, tell him to bathe himself, or send him to bed. Had he not done that, in fact, I would have been concerned.

Now I suppose it's possible that my children are simply abnormally nipple-proof, I don't know. But has anybody looked around at what's on television in the rest of the world? Based on their TV programs, topless women are running around all over the place in Europe. In Brazil, the number one rated children's show is hosted by a statuesque blonde who prances around in leather hip boots, Daisy Duke shorts, and midriff baring supertight T-shirts. (We get a purple dinosaur, they get a centerfold. I ask, is that fair?) Once again, the rest of the world stares at us, dumbfounded, wondering what the hell is wrong with the people here.

It. Is. Just. A. Boob. Move. On.

Now, if you want to shock me, instead of a boob have Justin Timberlake uncover a WMD. That would be something I could talk about for a while.

On Justin
Given how Justin Timberlake has already basically stolen every aspect of Michael Jackson's act circa 1982, pretty much all he had left to do to be considered a part of the family was molest one of the sisters.

Okay, that was mean. And I apologize.