There are as many different ways to conjure
up a demon as there are demons to conjure. What we offer is a
basic, step-by-step approach that should work in most cases,
but please note that additional precautions will be necessary
when attempting to conjure any members of the Unholy Echelon
of the Seventh Ring of Drakul. The Sixth and Eighth Rings, however,
are fine. Also, in the event that you manage to conjure Lord
Chthulu, please contact the authors, as he owes us ten bucks.
You will need:
-Kosher salt
-The right testicle of a Scandinavian (male) toad*
-A recently deceased feline
-The blood of a virgin, type AB negative*
-A heavy cloak
-a book of matches
-a scrap of paper autographed by Margaret Thatcher (substitutions allowed: Madonna, Uther Pendragon, or the shy member of N'SYNC)
-A tuna sandwich, on rye
*Available in specialty shops...
If
you would like to see the rest of this chapter...
Order your copy of The OTHER Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook today!
Also included:
How to Split the Atom
How to Drink and Drive
How to Survive on the Moon
How to Avoid Alien Abduction
...and much more!
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